Mud
by maravelous
Summary: Oneshot; "For the first time in my life, I can see you." — NejiTen


**Mud**

The forest they'd been training in together was sheltered in two-hundred square-feet by a clump of trees, the only foliage that was dry, not gleaming and drenched in rain water. There Neji and Tenten sat among the dead leaves, waiting out the storm. To occupy themselves they'd taken out some of Tenten's scrolls and begun adding some new characters onto them, painting them on in black ink meticulously.

As they did so, Neji's mind was restless. He looked up, and could barely see through the thick leaves of the trees, but every so often there was a crack of the strange, purplish blue of the thunderclouds. The smell of mud was being carried on the lukewarm air, and the hissing of the rain was never-ending.

It was this sort of peaceful distraction that brought it on.

"Hey, Neji, watch what you're doing."

Her sunny voice snapped him out of his daze and he glanced down at the scroll beneath him. He cursed as soon as he saw what he'd done. The paint had smeared with his unsteady hand, causing not a character but a scribble to blur and drip down the scroll. Seeming to understand he was angry with himself, Tenten snatched the scroll away from him quickly, heaving an exasperated sigh as Neji slammed a hand onto his forehead. "Aw, Neji, you ruined it! I like this one…"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he said in a low voice, slowly massaging his temples. "I got distracted."

Tenten looked up at him, and Neji raised an eyebrow while her chocolate gaze drifted over his frizzy hair, his fingers clenching his head angrily, and she gave a cheerful laugh.

"You're so cute, Neji."

That wasn't the first time she'd said it. It wasn't the first time Neji felt the wash of confusion that came with it either. But it _was_ the first time he had ever felt such…_clarity_.

He'd been going through some of the uglier moments in his life, years ago. After that fight with Naruto that he lost, he was trying to keep his dignity on a high level, but to his honesty it plummeted lower every day. He was having trouble deciding who he even was. He was destroying his own mind, body and spirit.

And she was there, watching him when he broke down at last. They'd been training, in the same forest they were in now, in a clearing in the middle of the autumn. Among the dying leaves, Neji broke away from their regular training routine and brought out all his rage, all his despair, on a frail tree in front of him. He alone brought it down, satisfied at the bark crumbling beneath his hands, the dead leaves and twigs blanketing he and Tenten like confetti.

He'd forgotten she was there, or else he just didn't care. But after he felt the furious sparks leave his chest, to be replaced with cold emptiness, he realized she was behind him, and waited for her to give him what he knew he deserved. A scolding, a bombardment of questions and worries. She was supposed to be afraid of him. His eyes were huge, his teeth were grit. He was a mess. He was sure she was disgusted by him.

But she laughed, and called him cute.

He would never understand, but he would never forget either. He'd been on the fence about how he felt about his teammate and training partner for a while before that incident, since the long nights talking in the forests, and especially the day he fell asleep on her shoulder, and woke up to listen to her telling a story about her mother.

But that day, although he didn't exactly recognize how he felt about her, that was the day his feelings finally completely developed. They washed over him like a river, and he could promise himself that he had never been the same since.

And now, he knew. He'd never been in love before. He was close to loving Hinata, certainly had romantic feelings for her, but pushed those feelings away when he saw her true intentions for Naruto. He cared for Hanabi almost like an older brother. He had truly adored his father more than anyone. But never anything close to this.

So as he watched Tenten turning away from him, giggling as she looked back down at the scroll to fix the smudged character Neji had created, this new feeling was the most inspiring thing he'd ever experienced.

"Tenten."

The name lilted off his tongue like a dance, or a melody. She glanced up at him again, smiling distractedly. "Hm?"

He didn't hesitate. In fact he was already in her face when she looked up, in the second it took to lean in, and before she could scramble back in surprise his lips connected with hers.

She was shocked, he could feel it in the way she stiffened beneath him. But she kissed back in as curiously and sweetly a fashion as he'd given her. It only lasted for a second, a peaceful, innocent kiss that was over as quickly as it had begun.

But when they parted, as they gazed at each other, the electricity that the connection had sent through their bodies did not fade.

They were frozen, sitting close to each other on the forest floor. It seemed like something was holding them together by their eyes, not letting them look away, hardly letting them blink. A stunned silence, but one that also held in it an absolute, a sense of finality.

And then her pink lips, the ones Neji could still feel, soft and warm, against his, with a scent like vanilla and jasmine, said softly, "I love you."

As soon as the words left her lips, his eyes switched. They darted between hers wildly, searching desperately for a meaning hidden behind them as he swallowed, almost nervously.

Then a red-ish hue spread along Tenten's cheeks like ink in water and she looked away quickly, her chin tucking into her shoulder and her eyes closing. Neji would have laughed at this if not for the strange, fuzzy feeling enveloping his chest.

"How…" His voice came out cracked and he coughed shortly before trying again as Tenten looked back up at him, flustered. "How do you know…?"

"…Wh…What?"

"How do you know…that you love me?" he confirmed, not looking away from her. Not because he was confident, no he was very, very worried, about what he didn't know.

She seemed shocked at the way he said this, and for some reason insulted. "What? Neji…How can you expect me to…? Gah…" She shook her head and Neji heaved a sigh.

"No, I know, I…should never have asked that, it was stupid of me—"

"—No, I…" Neji held his breath. She wasn't looking at him but instead at her fingers threading through the dead grass on the ground. "I…might as well…"

Neji immediately felt a hopeful bubble rise in his chest. There was a strong desire to touch her running through his hands but he stayed frozen in the same position as he watched her playing with the leaves in the grass anxiously, mumbling in a jumbled way, "I guess…it's because of how I feel when you touch me…"

She looked up to see the frown on his face and her blush grew, "Because…well, I mean…" she went on to explain quickly, a finger scratching her cheek. "Someone else would make me feel awkward and cold and stiff. But when you touch my shoulder or my hand, or even if you brush my arm sometimes, you're always warm and…comfortable."

Neji watched as her hands darted up to her arms, like she was hugging herself gently. "You make me feel..." she murmured carefully, as if she was weaving every word, "…at _home_."

Neji's lips darted upwards in a tiny smile that he could no longer hold back. His heart rising, he said carefully, "What else?"

Tenten blinked and stared at him. She seemed to have forgotten she was talking to him, and only now having recognized it she was embarrassed. She coughed, looking anywhere but at him, gathering the scrolls to her. "Nothing, nothing else, okay? That's it."

"I…don't think it is." Neji knew he was frustrating her, seeing the way her fingers clenched the cloth of the scrolls tighter than she needed to as she began rolling them up. But he knew they needed this.s

"If I say it is, then it is." She glanced at him very briefly, and saw the strength in his gaze. Her lips scrunched forwards in a little pout that again made Neji want to laugh, and she grumbled, defeated, "Well…even if there _is_ more I could say, I don't…I don't _have_ to, I mean we shouldn't be…we shouldn't be…"

Neji stared at her, observing her every move, even closer than he did when he was on a mission. Because this was far more important. "You don't think…the time is right?"

Tenten didn't look away from the scrolls, chewing on her lip again. "I…I just don't…I don't know, Neji."

"Don't know what?"

"Oh for _goodness_ sake…" Neji blinked in surprise when suddenly she fisted a scroll so tightly that she ended up knocking over a bottle of ink.

As she cursed and snatched the bottle of ink up again, turning it right-side once more, she blew her bangs from her eyes, snapping, "It's not a _secret_, Neji!" She turned to him, her chocolate eyes gleaming. "I'm not hiding it! I've always thought you're amazing. You're brave, and intelligent, and strong, and kind, and I'm _honored_ to be here for you."

The smile was back, but Neji hid it as well as he could as Tenten closed her eyes, obviously trying to control the frustration building up in her. "Since the day I realized it I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I'm constantly looking and listening for you, and every day I don't get to see you I get even more frustrated. You're driving me insane!"

She suddenly whipped out her arm and let her sleeve fall down her elbow to show Neji her skin. "Look, you told me to cover up the bruises on my arms that you gave me last week, so I did!" She nodded to the bandages wrapping around the crook of her arm, and Neji frowned; how did he not notice those? "And that's just one of the things I've done for you!" she cried. Neji noticed that she seemed alarmed not with him, but with herself. "I don't try to impress people often, but I want to impress you. And it's taking its toll on me. My heart is aching, I'm scared to death, and I blame _you_, you…you ass!"

Her finger pointed straight at Neji's chest, and he blinked at it, a little taken aback by the sudden, angry fluctuation in her mood. But he was more concerned about something else she'd said than by the forced insult. "You're…scared?" he repeated. She nodded slowly, and he narrowed his eyes. "Why? What are you scared of?"

"Honestly?" she breathed out, an exasperated laugh in her voice. "I'm terrified about what's going to happen. I don't know what I'd do if you left me, or you chose someone else over me…" Neji opened his mouth to retort but she continued before he could speak: "I know, I know that I'm the right one for you," she said loudly, glowering. "Someone else might hurt you, or confuse you, and I never would. But…you said the best times of your life was when your father was alive, and now your life is only going down. I don't want that to be true!"

Neji felt his body freeze as Tenten calmed a little, relaxing her arms by her sides. "I want to be the best part of your life," she muttered, in a tone that Neji could almost mistake as a whine. "So it hurt, when you said that about your father. When you didn't mention me making your life better, it hurt, and I didn't know why for so long but I get it now, I…I want you…to love me."

They were silent. Neji let the force of the words slide over him, sinking into his skin. He let himself absorb them, his mind embracing each syllable. The humidity of the storm sank around them like a blanket, and the calls and songs of the birds filled the gaping holes of the quiet, blending with the gentle rumbling of the thunder drifting away into the distance, and the hissing sheets of rain that surrounded their shelter like a wall of silver.

Finally Neji sat back a little. He was changing his position for the first time since the kiss, and it felt strange and hollow, as if he was letting air back into a body that had been closed off from it for so long. When he spoke, he sounded hoarse, "Tenten…you're a very observant person."

She stared at him, her eyes imploring. He continued. "You're impeccable at sensing things, knowing things, figuring things out…" She nodded slowly, in a sense as if she was pretending she didn't know what he was going to say next. But he knew she understood. Even so he said softly, "Surely you've already figured it out…"

She didn't move an inch, not even her face. So Neji didn't hold back. He wanted to say it. The words were on the tip of his tongue. "I—"

"—Neji…" He paused, staring as she closed her eyes and shook her head. He was worried, for a moment, worried that maybe she thought he was lying; he knew he wasn't, but she was so scared, as she'd said…

But then he saw the smile on her face. When she opened her eyes again, to stare into his, they were happy. Sincere. "I know," she said softly. Neji blinked, and stiffened when he felt a warm hand covering his. He looked down, watching as Tenten's fingers wrapped around his palm, her hand resting on top of his, her thumb stroking his wrist. He looked back up at Tenten, and saw her smile was still there, and so bright. So warm.

"You're right, I am observant," she murmured. Her voice made his shoulders loosen, and his whole body feel light, and calm. "I figured it out, Neji. I know how you feel about me." She let out a little laugh, blushing a bit. "I'm your best friend, I _know_ you, Neji." She bit her smiling lip and whispered, "I know when you're in love. Especially if it's with me."

Neji's fingers curled around Tenten's, tightening on her hand. It was the only part of him touching her, and it took all of his strength combined to hold the rest of himself back from touching her as well. Because he knew this was all they needed.

"I've never…" he said softly, "been so sure…about anything…"

Tenten looked up at him, and her round face held an expression so enamored it almost broke Neji's heart to see it. He couldn't stop himself any longer and leaned in, but Tenten immediately darted backwards, dropping his hand and scooting away from him. Confused, he watched as she drew her knees up to herself, shaking her head and hugging her legs to her chest.

"We're young," she insisted, closing her eyes tight as if she was trying to convince herself this was only a dream. "We're young, and we're stupid."

"I don't care." Neji frowned and got forward onto his knees, pulling himself towards her. He reached a hand over her knees to grasp her chin, forcing her face up so he could gaze into her eyes, which fluttered open, searching his desperately. He smiled when he noticed the pink blush staining her jaw, the way her bottom lip quivered, and let his hand slide over to cup her cheek in his palm; it fit perfectly, and felt so right, so soft and delicate, like it was meant to be there.

"I don't care about any of that…" he whispered gently, putting his other hand on the tops of her knees and very carefully pushing them down ever so slowly. "I don't care what family you come from, or how much money you have, or what your talents are. For so long I thought I could see everything, but I haven't been looking for what's closest to me. Until now. For the first time in my life, I can see you." He smiled. "And I love what I see."

Tenten's face twisted with confusion, but he saw the embarrassed grin she was trying to hold back. "I…I don't know _what_ you see…" she said uncomfortably, seeming very afraid, but not looking away from him for a second.

"I see your personality."

"That can't get me anything as a Kunoichi."

"It can get you _everything_," Neji disagreed. "It got you me."

"Neji, you don't have to—"

"Tenten, I—"

"Neji." He blinked when suddenly he was interrupted by her lips, once more. They pressed into his, more confident than the last time. He let them touch his for a second, allowed the warm, tingling sensation to flow through his body from hers. Then she pulled back, and whispered, voice warm against his cheek, "You don't have to say anything."

She leaned forward into his body very, very slowly, her hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. Then they pushed him back, down so he was sitting again, not on his knees anymore. She then leaned forward, and took his hand. The whole time the two never once looked away from each other.

"Neji…" she said quietly, "You have already said everything you need to." Her thumb stroked his hand, and she murmured, "This is who we are. This is how we express it. This…peace. Isn't that right?"

Neji finally felt the laugh come out. It was a small one, a little chuckle. But he was happy. He had never, ever been so certain of anything in his life, and it felt so right. So perfect.

His grip tightened on her hand gently, and he said softly, "You're right." He smiled. "I'm sure this is all we need."

"Yes." Tenten looked over at the scrolls, and pulled them onto her lap. She looked over at Neji and handed one to him. He accepted it, and they both picked up their paintbrushes once more.

It was an interruption, Neji decided. Here they were, painting the scrolls again like nothing had happened. Waiting for the storm to disappear and the fog to roll away. But this time it was different, and from now on _every_ time would be different. Their hands still held on to each other's, and every so often they would look up and smile, sharing a special knowledge of their own that wasn't a secret anymore.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

This was their own sort of passion. The warmth of the dew. The chattering of the cicadas. The smell of juniper and mud. Their peace.

**The End**


End file.
